Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Waiting for the 'Big' one

Four more days. That's all we have left for baseball trading. Sad, really, because there doesn't appear to be much excitement over available players, with exception to the Big Ugly in Arizona. Did Bud Selig get a deal on ambien and pass it around to the GMs at the All-Star Game?

Once the Big Ugly gets traded, the rest will fall into place. If he goes to Anaheim, expect the Yankees to scramble for the next best thing. And if he goes to the Red Sox, Steinbrenner will collapse again, and from the hospital, he will summons Wells and Clemens back to New York to be by his championship bedside.

And after the dealing of the Big Ugly, what other legitimate excitement is there? Nomar Garciaparra won't go anywhere because the Red Sox need his bat to win this year. Kris Benson was great in college, average ever since. Carlos Delgado appears to be as dumb as his team is bad and has kindly invoked his no-trade clause to block getting out of Canada. Strange, eh?

The rest of the names being circulated are marginal at best. A middle reliever never put anyone in the seats, except for Mike Stanton, who puts fans in their car seats once he comes into the game. A backup infielder or fifth outfielder can win a game or two, but that's about it. Ooooooh, exciting stuff.


So, it all comes down to the Big Ugly. And when he gets dealt -- and he WILL get dealt -- the other teams will scramble for trash. Only Anaheim owner Arte Moreno will be happy with the dealings because he's the guy getting the Big Ugly. What are the chances Moreno pulls out another famous line by a West-Coaster and text-messages Brian Cashman's cellie with "Domino, m---- -----!"

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