Friday, January 14, 2005

Let the Moon man shine!


What did Randy Moss do that was so bad? He faked mooning fans in Green Bay, so why is American lashing out at him?

I believe the answer is one most people don't want to hear. That answer is race.

If Brett Favre scored a touchdown in such an emotionally charged game (instead of lamely throwing the ball away 5 yards in front of the line of scrimmage), and imitated mooning the crowd (in a town famous for the pants-all-the-way-down moon), would the NFL have stepped in and fined him $10,000? What about Brandon Stokely? Peyton Manning? Drew Bennett?

OK, maybe Bennett would be fined because only fantasy football players and people in Tennessee know who this guy is.

It's pretty funny, to me at least, that Moss has to fork over "straight cash, homey" (one of the best sound bites of the last 10 years). He showed less of his patoot than team cheerleaders, and heaven forbid the networks from using "Cleavage Cam" before and after commercial breaks. For the record, I'm not against "Cleavage Cam," but the parallel is amusing.

Media people have been bashing Moss for his actions as if he had a wardrobe malfunction. Moss has this reputation of NFL's bad boy, some of it he deserves - walking off the field during a game because he's frustrated qualifies as deserving.

On Monday's "Cold Pizza" on ESPN2, TV personality/newspaper columnist Skip Bayless was outraged by the Moss moon. He said it just one part of why he doesn't like Moss. Another part was "the hair." Yes, Moss rocked an awesome afro, one rivaled only by Dwayne from "What's Happening?" But when a white man says he doesn't like a black person because of his hair, I must wonder if this country will ever become unilaterally tolerant of its citizens.

ESPN's Mark Schlereth (yeah, I know) bashed Moss for disrespecting the game, himself, his team, the fans, blah blah blah. Take it easy there, slugger. He may have offended you, or maybe you've just decided to have an opinion, but I'm not offended. Nor were many people I know. It was funny. That's it. And when a man nicknamed "Stink," as Schlereth is, and he gets upset about a mooner, where the parallels are too funny to contemplate today.

Not to mention it's tradition for Packers fans to stick around after the game to moon the visiting team's bus as it leaves Lambeau Field. Those are real cheeks exposed to people. And frankly, if given a choice of exposed posterior flesh to see, Wisconsin slobs loaded on beer and brats wouldn't be my first, second or 38th choice.

Moss said he might expose something else this weekend against Philadelphia. I can't condone that "something else" but I have a better idea for the randy Randy. He should really moon Philly when he scores the first touchdown of the game. On his left cheek, he should draw a big T. On his right cheek, he should draw a big O. Yes, that's right. Scrawled across his patoot for the all the world to see would be T.O. What better way to show up Philly and its injured star receiver?

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