Super Bowl stories actually worth reading

Now that the Super Bowl matchup is set, get ready for two weeks of hell. During the next 14 days, you can expect to read stories on just about every member of both teams, including the water boy, the special teams coach, and the guy who uncoils the headsets on the sidelines.

With so many unnecessary puff pieces and sob stories flooding your brain, it can be easy to forget the real issues behind the game. Fortunately, Keyboard Quarterbacks is here to help. Here's a list of interesting topics and stories to talk about during the next weeks while we wait for Super Bowl XXXIX:

T.O. flaps his wings, his legs, and his gums

Even though he'll probably be watching from the sidelines on February 6, there's no doubt the Eagles' Terrell Owens will say something stupid during the next couple of weeks. Of course, we in the media will love it because it'll give us something to talk about other than the punters' shiny new kicking shoes. And the Patriots -- a team that has proven it does not need any extra motivation -- will privately vow to make him eat his words by embarrassing Donovan McNabb and the rest of his teammates.

By the way, did you see Owens celebrating and dancing around on the sidelines Sunday like a boy with new legs? Apparently that injury isn't so bad.

Eagles fans must be wondering why their best receiver was doing a samba on the sidelines while bums like Todd Pinkston and Freddie Mitchell are trying to catch bullets from McNabb. But I guess nothing surprises me with the traveling sideshow known as T.O.

Perfect Pats vs. Dangerous Donovan

Donovan McNabb is one of the best athletes and quarterbacks in the game, and the best playmaker on the Philadelphia offense. But he faces a defense that has already humiliated Peyton Manning's Colts and a host of other top offenses this year.

The Patriots win games by not making mistakes, and forcing opponents to make a lot of them. If McNabb can keep the ball out of the arms of the Patriots defensive backs, the Eagles have a 50-50 shot to win this thing. Bonus points if Philly can actually pick off Tom Brady, who hasn't thrown a key interception since... well... ever.

The Westbrook factor

TV analysts made a big deal about Brian Westbrook being the key to the Eagles' offense with Owens out of the lineup. They're not wrong -- Westbrook is an exceptionally versatile back who can excel both as a receiver and a runner. But the Eagles would be wise to gameplan some other options.

After all, this is the New England team that shut down Marshall Faulk three years ago, when he was the best receiving/running back in the league. Westbrook can have an impact, but he isn't likely to gain the 135 all-purpose yards he picked up against Atlanta. Bill Belichick and Romeo Crennel will make sure of that.

Will Philly decide to come out throwing, get McNabb some confidence and open up holes for Westbrook by forcing the Patriots' DBs to drop into coverage?

Halftime show mayhem

Now folks, I hate the Super Bowl halftime show just as much as the next real football fan, but after last year's chaotic spectacle, I admit I will be watching. Naturally, the execs at FOX will take the necessary measures to ensure that a repeat of last year's $550,000 peep show does not occur.

One of those measures was naming as a performer ex-Beatle Paul McCartney, the sight of whose right breast would only make the 200 women in the viewing audience over the age of 60 swoon with glee, not flood the FCC offices with calls.

Unfortunately, the FOX honchos can't prevent Ashlee Simpson from dressing up as McCartney, running on stage, singing a few bars of "La La" and causing the 82,000 in attendance to storm the field in defense of their eardrums.

Troy Brown

As far as I'm concerned, this is the only guy on either team who deserves as much attention as he will get the next two weeks. Never once opening his mouth to complain, Brown willingly accepted Coach Belichick's request that he help out the Patriots' wounded secondary by transforming himself into a nickel cornerback.

Bear in mind that just three years ago, Brown caught 101 passes and was one of the top receivers in the league. This year, he caught just 17 -- the same number as he had tackles. But his three interceptions were his biggest stat.

In an era where you can't even get a player like John Abraham to limp onto the field to play half the game, Brown sacrificed stardom in exchange for W's -- and exemplified exactly why the Patriots are in the Super Bowl for the third time in four years.

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One way or another, it's up to players

Forget all the rhetoric and back-and-forth about who is to blame and who needs to concede what. The NHL and the players union are run by the two biggest obstructors to peace on ice since Bob Probert and Tie Domi. Both sides are to blame. Blame is irrelevant. What matters is what can be done, and what must be done, to save the NHL.

There is one group of men who can forge a deal that will save the league. (Hint: It's not the guys who wear suits and ties and watch games from luxury boxes.)

Only the players have to power to end this whole sorry affair. Because they're the only ones who care.

Let's face it: The owners are rich, and probably will stay rich whether or not the NHL goes under like the Rangers on a playoff run. Gary Bettman will tell you how much he loves the game, how much it hurts him to not be playing hockey. But the fact is, Bettman doesn't play hockey. Probably never has. Hockey may provide him with a title and a lot of face time, but the fact is, he collects a paycheck no matter how long the NHL rinks stay empty. For most of the owners, it's the same way.

To the extent that their teams are successful and money is in their pockets, the owners are fans of the game. But money is decidedly flowing out of their pockets, right into those of the players. Which means they can and will wait as long as it takes to reverse that trend. And that tells you all you need to know about the extent of their interest in the great sport of the frozen pond.

The players, on the other hand, have a couple of incentives to get the league going as soon as possible. First, they have a livelihood to think about. Most are young, naive, not particularly well-educated, with young wives and families to think about. They play a game they love and are well-paid for doing so. Even with the possibility of alternate North American leagues or pro teams in Europe, they must realize that the type of money to be made off the prestige and popularity of the NHL is unmatched anywhere else in the world.

Second, the players are hockey players. Say what you will about the greedy, jaded athlete of the 21st Century -- when it comes down to it, these guys know they are living a dream come true. Today's NHLers grew up idolizing stars like Wayne Gretzky, Jari Kurri, and Patrick Roy... And now they are wrecking the chance to build on that legacy, all in the name of an ancillary million here or a few thousand there.

Even in the face of a stern, wagging finger from NHLPA head Bob Goodenow -- who if nothing else has been a remarkable champion for the NHL agent -- it's becoming clear that some of the game's stars won't stand by while their boyhood game is destroyed.

Brendan Shanahan organized a summit on rules changes that could improve the game. Jeremy Roenick spoke out about the need for a deal to get done soon. Trevor Linden spurred on a new round of labor talks which he hopes will bridge extensive gaps in the two sides' bargaining philosophies. And remember: It was the players who took the first step towards reconciliation, offering a 24 percent salary rollback in December.

No one is criticizing the union for bowing under the enormous pressure of the fans, the owners, and the skeptical players themselves; and no one should if and when they do crack. The players must come to the realization that it is they -- not the owners -- who have everything to lose by sitting out. The owners are not the ones uprooting their homes and leaving their families to play pro hockey in places like Italy and Norway for $1,000 a week. The owners will retain their millions, NHL or not.

The only question left is, How long before they come to their senses? How long before the players grasp the harm they are doing to their careers and the game they love by haggling over a few million dollars? How long can they shoestring it out working on farms and selling printer ink while the owners uncaringly flip through stacks of money?

Their resolve is admirable, but their sensibility is not. Eventually someone surely will realize the owners have no impetus to return the game to the ice unless a deal is in place that guarantees them an opportunity to advance their position on the Forbes 500 list. And when that happens, no amount of Goodenow posturing will prevent the avalanche of support the players will receive. In the end, the players have the opportunity to come out looking like the good guys. It's an opportunity they'd be foolish to pass up.

The definitely-not-sarcastic list of why Carlos Beltran will fail

Greetings, sports fans. I'm sure most of you are wondering what nuclear power plant is affecting my brain to make me diss the Mets' newest acquisition. But let me assure you, no brain cells were harmed in the making of this blog.

Like most Mets fans, my initial reaction to the news of Carlos Beltran's signing was satisfaction, followed by glee, joy, and a Namath-like desire to kiss everyone. Could you blame me? Beltran has speed, power, defense, and clutch-hitting... He's like a miniature Griffey, circa 1998. He's the most exciting player in Mets history; and the biggest free agent signing they've ever had.

But after listening to hours of wonderfully insightful sports talk radio calls from jilted Yankees fans and ultra-cynical Mets fans, I came to realize something: Boy was I wrong!

I should have known all along -- there are plenty of excellent reasons why Carlos Beltran will fail! Here's my list, with regards to the fans who helped set me straight:

1) The Yankees didn't want him. Well jeez, isn't that reason enough? If the Yankees don't want him, he must not be good, right? I mean, think of all the great players they've added in the past few years -- Javier Vazquez, Jason Giambi, Mike Mussina, Alex Rodriguez -- all champions... Or wait, umm....

2) Shea is not a hitters' park Of course, this is particularly applicable because Beltran is solely a power hitter. Sure he's got a career .284 average, steals 30-40 bases, and hits 30-40 doubles per year. But the only thing we fans care about home runs. So what if he doubles and triples the hell out of the ball? Triples are so BORING! Mets fans want more one-dimensional stars like Jeromy Burnitz, Dave Kingman, George Foster, and Mo Vaughn! Ahhh Mo Vaughn... now there was a star!

3) It's hard to play centerfield at Shea Stadium No one who watches the Mets could disagree with that assessment. With a cavernous outfield and deep power alleys, you could run for days and not get to some fly balls. Ask Mike Cameron. But really, what makes Shea so tough is the wind -- at least, that's what one WFAN caller said on Sunday night. And, you know... the more I think about it, the more I realize he's right. Because I don't think Carlos Beltran has ever dealt with the wind before. I'm pretty sure he's played all 885 of his Major League games inside a dome, right? Isn't that how he got his reputation as one of the best defensive centerfielders in the game?

4) He won't be able to handle the media The New York baseball media is as tough as they come, although maybe not as obsessive as Boston's and not as unforgiving as Philly's. And we all know the long list of MLB players whose careers have been failures because of their inability to handle the media: Let's see, there's Randy Johnson and Eddie Murray and Barry Bonds, and Steve Carlton... All bums!

5) Carlos Beltran hit .267 last year Nothing is a surer sign of a player who is washed up than when his average dips 40 points. I know that despite that he hit 38 home runs, 36 doubles, stole 42 bases, and drove in 104 runs. And I know he hit over .400 with 8 home runs in last year's playoffs. But let's get real: the playoffs don't matter! What matters is that the Yankees didn't want him! And Shea is not a hitters park! And my astrologer told me Saturn would not pass through Ursa Minor this year, which clearly means that the Mets drastically overpaid and Carlos Beltran will be a flop!

What? You don't buy that???

How will Carlos Beltran do as a Met? E-mail Mike Casey

Read Newsday's Carlos Beltran coverage. Click here.